No Dumping! Fines up to $200.

Hey! Take off your pants!!

Sat, 26 Jun 2004 16:28:47 GMT

Well, I'm over in England now and I'm definitely enjoying the different approach that the male prostitutes here take, as opposed to those sloppy Americans. It's so disgusting sometimes when they slobber on themselves.

Anyway, it's very rainy here in England which has definitely put a damper on my usual sexual habits. It's hard to peddle a bike down a dirt road just to go to a XXX theatre. Seeing as how technology has't come here yet, we don't have cars, so it makes things a bit difficult. But the great thing is that when I want to go to an adult bookstore, all I have to do is call and they send this hot guy on a bike and then I get to sit in the basket on the way back! Isn't that cool? One time, I bought so many of those nudie magazines that we dumped over the bike and landed in the mud. Then, while slow music played in the background, he and I rolled around in the mud and got all dirty...and then he took off his pants...

Oh, wait. That was just a dream.

Mean girls..oh oh oh..

Mon, 03 May 2004 03:30:10 GMT

First of all, if I were asian, I would make the screen name "generasian" like the guy on imdb.com ... Genius.

Today I worked all day which blew. I hate that place so much. All my coworkers are dumb trashy sluts (except the few that i like) and all the managers are cool until they realize they are expected to actually BE managers. Like the other day one of them hung up on me- what the fuck? One of them is an colossal bitch, one tries waaaay to hard to be a kid again, and the last one is a child molester/rapist which is why we only have FEMALES working in the store..ewww.. The thing they all have in common is their sad pathetic "I graduated high school barely and this is all my life will ever consist of therefore I feel it is my duty to take it out on everyone who is happier than i am" lives. Sorry for that rant.

On a happier note, I saw Mean Girls tonight!! Woohoo. Its hilarious! I love it! I must buy the DVD! Anyway, I highly recommend this movie however much it may appear to be a waste of time. Tina Fey did a great job on the screenplay.

Yep, so thats about it. Nothing exciting this weekend other than that. All i did last night was sleep and watch the South Park marathon. BYE!!!!!

Toyota commercials lie...

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 22:55:09 GMT

First of all, any entry related to lesbian sex etc is posted by Cathryn. Hahaha..she's so funny...except not at all!!

Man, those toyota commercials are B.S. i think. I mean seriously, how many trucks do you know that can be pushed off a cliff and land unscathed at the bottom. I'm inclined to think that these commercials may simply be the work of video editing, and we may not be viewing live footage of cascading trucks. However, I could be wrong...it's been known to happen.

I have one hour and ten minutes until my spanish class so I'm trying to pass the time by writing in a journal that I've never written in before. Oh diaryland...how i miss thee. Anyway, I guess i'll pull an Autumn and post on both. Speaking of, I can't believe you talked to J. for that long. He think's you're gorgeous he wants to date you he wants to marry you and show you his 'o face'...oh oh oh.

Okay I'm bored..adios

Lesbian Sex Is Delish

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 23:01:05 GMT

So, the other day I was walking down the street and I spotted this girl. She had huge knockers and I found myself strangely attracted to her. Even though I usually do guys, I thought that if I was effed up enough, I could probably hit that. So, I walked up and asked her for her name. "Candy," she replied, "and I taste sweet, too." Despite my initial disgust I was drawn to her. I asked her if she was free for the afternoon and when she replied in the affirmative, I put her in my ride and drove her down 31. We saw a lot of ho's walking down the side of the road, and we passed a weird-looking midget, standing on the back of his truck. After we hit the beer store (mmmmm, I love Pap's Blue Ribbon), we headed on over to the Apache where we found a nice spot to watch the entertainment. The girls on the screen were hot, but none could compare to my sweet Candy.

After the movie was over and the beer was gone, we headed upstairs to the private rooms above the bookstore. There, we made sweet love for fifteen minutes, until the cops raided the store for underage patrons and they busted in on us. I still will never forget the sight of that policeman's face when he saw me tied up like that and Candy standing over me in that furry moose suit.

If there's anything that my lesbian experience taught me, it's that you should never let a lesbian named Candy near you with a pair of handcuffs.

Deep Thoughts

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 01:57:09 GMT

Today, I woke up and put on my face. It only took me 45 minutes today, as opposed to the usual hour. Of course, I made up for that lost time by sitting on the pot for quite awhile. I'm nearly out of Glade - I need to remember to pick some up.

Then, I went to the dealer who was out of my usual chronic weed blend. That bastard - but then I went to my friend Benjamin's house, who often has plenty of drugs. The only problem is that he said that I had to service him - not only him, but also his three friends Jared, Mike, and Spaz. While this didn't sound good at first, I actually came to enjoy it. Perhaps I've learned that I have a talent in life; maybe I should move to Nevada and stand on the street like the whore that I want to be.

After I got the drugs and pulled the train, I went back home to get fucked up on acid with my mom and my younger brother. While we were getting smashed, my mom confessed that she'd actually adopted me from a crack whore that lived in Glasgow. My mom felt so sorry for me that she took me in to try to make me a better person. It was so nice, but I feel that I'm going down the same path as my biological mom. I'm becoming the crack whore that I was born to be. It's in the blood.